Dear Woman Who Lives With My Children,

I did not choose you. I did not choose for you to be their caregiver a portion of their lives. I did not give birth to them with the intention of another woman taking them into her home to meet their physical and emotional needs. As long as I’m alive that role is intended for me-- only me.

They did not choose you either-- their father chose you. The man who I have a broken relationship with chose you. He chose a woman I know nothing about to move into a home with my children.

The children and I did not invite you into our lives-- we did not choose you.

But thank you for choosing them-- everyday you choose to love and care for my kids. And every day we are happy you do. We all very much appreciate you.

I choose to recognize the good that you bring into my children’s lives and at times, I encourage them to recognize it too.

I could not find a way to continue living with their father but you have. For that, I am very grateful.

Grateful my children have a woman in their father’s home to love them and help meet their needs.

Thank you for helping their father so that he doesn’t have to parent alone. Being a single parent is hard.

Thank you for being an extra set of eyes to watch over them, an extra set of hands to hug them, and an extra set of legs to get them to where they need to go.

To be honest-- at times-- I have to take a stand against jealousy towards you. I long to be their 100% mom-- to cook all of their meals, take them to all their games, drop them off on every first day of school, throw all of their slumber parties, take them on all of their vacations.

Is this the arrangement I had intended for my children to grow up in? No. Is this ideal for us all? No. Do we agree on everything? Not at all.

But one thing we can agree on is this: the children we share time with are wonderful and deserve the best childhood we are able to provide for them.

From the depths of my heart thank you-- thank you for all that you have done and continue to do for my children. Thank you for choosing them.

May God Greatly Bless You,

Co-Mom