Making Your Placement Days Their Best Days

When you don’t have something you love or enjoy daily, you tend to savor it more--like chocolate cake, birthday parties, new shoes, road trips, etc. Those of us co-parenting our children in two separate households do not have placement of our kids daily, therefore anticipation builds as we await our next visit together. For some parents, this time away from their children is grievous. For others, it is packed with business or work that fills the void. And for some, it is a much needed relaxing break. To those of you grieving, I say; it will get better with time. To those who stay busy to fill the void, I say; slow down and care for yourself. To those who relax, unwind, and practice self care, I say; I’m sure it took time to get there and I’m glad you’ve made it to this point. Which category do you fit into? Which category do you want to be in? This article is supposed to be about time together rather than apart so let me get to the point now. We need to be intentional about making our placement days with our kids their best days.

Your placement days are precious, golden days. I do understand that they might not always feel like this--especially on transition days. Transition days can be the worst for kids and parents alike! No matter how the day feels, time is short and it needs to count. Let me encourage you to make the best of every day spent with your child. Reminder--your child is going to carry these days in their little heart forever. Think about the memories you carry with those who loved you. Make up your mind to connect with your child every placement day and let nothing get in the way of that--literally nothing! You're the parent who already knows what to do, but I’m going to throw out some examples anyway; books, games, walks, bike rides, random acts of kindness done together, family challenges, table talks, car ride talks, nightly tuck-ins, etc. I realize everyday is not a vacation or party--after all, you are adulting. However, everyday can most definitely be a day to connect; even the hard days when your child makes it seem like connecting with you is the last thing they want to do. Pray and let God guide you on how to make a connection.

Family game nights full of multiple rounds of Catan and Monopoly have been a big way for us to connect and make memories lately. Another way is family challenges. You can do a YouTube search and find all sorts of ideas. Our latest challenge was blindfolding the kids, having them blindly taste different foods, and then having them guess what each food was. The idea was birthed because we had a teenager itching for adventure, but mild cold symptoms paired with bad weather limited our options. The kids had a blast doing this--well, at least three out of the four did! We kept score of the guesses and the kid with the most points got to choose a snack from the challenge all for themselves. Bike rides, nature walks, and weekend getaways are some of our other favorite activities. I strive to make the most of my placement days. It’s not always easy to do. I reach deep because I want my placement days to be their best days.

“What I mean brothers and sisters is that time is short.”

1 Corinthians 7:29