Room Transformation, Relationship Transformation--What’s the Difference?

I recently gave a much needed makeover to a room in my house. Daily I walked into this room and its state of domestic turmoil cried out to me for change. I have lived in my house for two years and two months. This particular room overwhelmed me. I really wasn’t sure what to do with it or the stuff in it, so I would let it sit as it was. This room was easy to hide from company and therefore easy to ignore--until the day I had enough.

I got to the point of determination that, come hail or high water, this room would be transformed. It was now time to deal with the furniture misfits, the stuff accumulated over two years time, and the dust bunnies. The room transformation process was exhausting. I spent hours upon hours that turned to days upon days painting, decluttering, organizing, shopping for the right pieces, cleaning, etc. All of this tiresome work to find contentment in a 15x15 room! This room cost me relaxation, sleep, family time, friend time, money, an aching body, and even a gemstone ring!

You’re probably wondering where the ring comes into play? Here it goes...my husband does not like to spend money on furniture or home decor as a whole. Really, the only thing he is okay with spending money on is dining out. (That is no reflection on my cooking! Seriously!) Our anniversary is approaching and I had asked for an anniversary ring. In the meantime, I had determined to makeover this room and found a great furniture piece for the project. I negotiated with my husband and traded the ring idea in for furniture. Ha! Friends, that should speak volumes as to how determined I was to make this room great!

I have always heard this said: “Anything worth doing will cost you.” Here are a couple famous quotes that support this idea:

“Everything worth anything will cost you something.”--Carl Jung

“Nothing in the world is worth having or worth doing unless it means effort, pain, difficulty… I have never in my life envied a human being who led an easy life. I have envied a great many people who led difficult lives and led them well.”

--Theodore Roosevelt

This room transformation was worth every second put into it and even the loss of an anniversary ring. (God willing more anniversaries will come and I will ask again next year. Ha!) My kids walked into that finished room and were amazed. I loved seeing their excited faces. I soaked in their praises. They even gave one of the biggest compliments imaginable and told me it looked like a room Chip and Joanna Gaines would approve of (steady my heart!). My daughter said it was a room she wanted to stay in and not leave. I had met the goal and attained the vision.

When we determine to make changes within our relationships, there is a price to pay--something(s) we have to give up. We don’t always stop and think about what we are putting into the investment; giving up time doing the things you want to do and more time doing what others want to do, using more mental space and effort to form new thought patterns, doing away with pride as you reflect on your personal shortcomings, giving energy and money while you cultivate time together.

The reward in all of this is far greater than the effort. You will reap more than you put out. The cumulative deposits made over time grant you the rewards of true love, true friendship, loyalty, commitment, etc.

When I look at the big picture of my room transformation, I see this: 4.5 days of struggles compared to 359.5 days of enjoyment and then some. Yes, a small investment of weekly maintenance is needed, however, the reward is much greater than the investment.

Our relationships are a gift from the Lord. Cherish them, work on them, and hold them dear to your heart. Keep your eye on the reward not on the effort.

“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” -Galatians 6:9

Disclaimer: This article does not pertain to abusive relationships. If you are in an abusive relationship, work can be done to transform and rebuild--as long as both parties are fully committed. But a professional has to oversee the progress. I encourage you to seek God’s will for your situation and spend time apart before attempting to come back together.